6 key questions about being a Gay Dad!

For all the gay intended fathers who want to pursue surrogacy, the surrogacy process works a bit differently than in any other surrogacy arrangement. So, if you are someone who is planning to pursue surrogacy for 2 dads and wants to grab some valuable information, read this blog till the end.

Besides, we will talk about the key questions that are generally being asked by most the intended gay dads around the world. This way, you can have a quick idea about how this entire process works for same-sex intended fathers.

How does surrogacy work for same-sex intended fathers?

As mentioned earlier, the process works more or less the same for the same-sex intended fathers with the egg donors being the only addition. Besides, a surrogate mother would be implanted with the embryo developed after mixing the sperm derived from one of the intended fathers and the egg-derived from the egg donors.

After the embryo transfer has been completed, the surrogate mother would then undergo a pregnancy test after a period of three weeks. Post confirmation, she will carry this child to term. This way, both gay dads can reach their parenthood goals via surrogacy for 2 dads.

However, both gay dads need to decide upon a list of things before entering into the process. Firstly, they need to decide on which one of them would be donating their sperm for the fertilization process. Secondly, they need to list down their expectations with the surrogate mother they are matched with.

Do they need to undergo any tests or diagnoses?

The intended fathers need to undergo certain tests to confirm their eligibility for the surrogacy process. This is required to confirm whether or not they are suffering from any critical health issues or problems that could be passed over to the future child.

On the other side, the intended fathers would also be tested for HIV. This is done in order to avoid any kind of health issues in the future child via same-sex surrogacy. Besides, random surrogacy agencies and IVF clinics conduct other tests to confirm certain aspects that holds crucial for the success of the surrogacy arrangement.

Can the same embryo be related to two fathers?

Unfortunately, no, there is currently no way to genetically link two same-sex fathers to the same child. Besides, your future children will be half-siblings if you decide to undergo a split insemination cycle (where each partner’s sperm is combined with half of the eggs), connected by a common donor and connected to each parent.

Moreover, to connect both family trees, some intended parents opt to use a single sperm donor (from Partner A) and an egg donor from Partner B who is related to them. If one partner has a distant cousin or a relative who is a good match, this is a wonderful way to expand your family.

How would you explain to your future kids about their birth via surrogacy?

There is no correct or incorrect approach to making this decision. Whether you choose to use one or two sperm sources, the end result of your journey will be the same for all parents: a healthy child and a happier family. Besides, your child will grow up knowing that they are blessed with such lovely parents, regardless of how they were born.

That being said, making this choice can be difficult! So, you may find a list of clinics with counsellors to assist you and your partner if you or they are having trouble deciding “whose sperm to use.” That said, it is your responsibility as parents to assist in sharing that creation story with your child after you have made your decision and advanced through the surrogacy process.

While your child is still young, an expert advises experimenting with various aspects of that story and honing your craft until you find one you are both at ease with. Moreover, the experts also say that as your child gets older, their understanding will deepen, allowing you to provide more specific instructions when necessary. Also, for a young child to understand their unique place in your family, they might need to understand something that a toddler might not.

How to cope with the stress of the lengthy surrogacy process?

Surrogacy is undoubtedly a very physically and emotionally demanding process. Besides, there may be situations that will take a toll on your life and mental peace. Hence, it is always recommended to connect with a reputed surrogacy agency to take care of every task.

The surrogacy agency can take care of the key procedures like a surrogate mother searches, matching and screening. Besides, they will make available their in-house counsellors to help you deal with any mental health issues.

Surrogacy for 2 dads requires the finalization of an egg donor as well. So, in order to locate an egg donor, you may need to connect with some egg donor banks or agencies. Well, if you can’t do that due to lack of time, you can always outsource the job to the surrogacy agency you are dealing with.

Can we select a surrogate that we are familiar with? If not, what steps should we take to find a surrogate?

Yes, you are free to choose a friend or family member to act as your surrogate or gestational carrier. Besides, the process can be aided by a number of agencies if you are taking the services of an unknown surrogate mother.

Moreover, women who have previously undergone an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery are eligible to serve as gestational carriers or surrogates. Besides, they must also exhibit financial stability and be in good physical and mental health.

On the other hand, to ensure that everyone is aware of this obligation, it is necessary for all parties to consult with an attorney and a counsellor provided by the surrogacy agency.

Final words

The entire process may prove to be a hectic task if you are planning to pursue surrogacy for 2 dads. However, with the right guidance and support from the best surrogacy professionals, your journey could be made straightforward and risk-free.