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Frequently asked questions that you may think of while choosing your friend as a surrogate mother!

Choosing a friend as a surrogate can be a deeply personal and emotionally significant decision, and it may make the process feel more intimate and connected. However, it also involves certain unique considerations and potential challenges.  So, being an intended parent, you must consider certain key aspects before making an informed choice in the same regard.

That said, we hereby list down certain frequently asked questions regarding the selection, screening and matching of the surrogate mother.

Can I use my friend as a surrogate?

Yes, you can use your friend as a surrogate. However, do think about the following factors before reaching any conclusion.

Emotional Boundaries: Apart from a surrogate-intended parent relationship, it’s also about your friendship. That said, the process can significantly strain friendships if the emotional boundaries aren’t properly established. Hence, both parties must be prepared for the depth of the emotional journey and the ups and downs that can occur during the process.

a friend as a surrogate

Legal Agreements: Even if you trust your friend implicitly, it’s crucial to have a comprehensive surrogacy contract drafted by experienced reproductive law attorneys. Moreover, both parties should have independent legal counsel to ensure their interests are represented. Besides, this contract will help to clarify responsibilities, financial arrangements, and what would happen in various scenarios.

Medical Considerations: Your friend would need to undergo thorough medical and psychological evaluations to ensure she is capable of being a surrogate. Besides, not everyone is medically or mentally fit for surrogacy, and it’s crucial to put health first.

Cost of surrogacy with friend: You need to agree on compensation (if any) and who will cover medical and incidental expenses. Even in cases where the surrogate doesn’t want compensation beyond expenses, the cost of surrogacy with friend( if any) needs to be clearly stated in a legal contract.

Risk of Relationship Strain: If disagreements or complications arise, the pre-existing relationship could suffer. Moreover, it’s also possible that dynamic changes in the relationship could occur after the child is born, and this should be discussed in depth before proceeding.

Post-Birth Relationship: Discuss expectations for what the relationship will look like after the child is born. Will the surrogate be involved in the child’s life, and if so, in what capacity? How will you explain the situation to the child and others?

Counselling and Support: Both parties should consider counselling or support groups to help navigate the complex emotional aspects of the surrogacy journey.

Family Dynamics: Your friend’s family and your family need to be supportive of this decision, as they will also be impacted by the surrogacy journey.

While using a friend as a surrogate can have many benefits, it’s essential to handle the arrangement professionally and ensure open communication and mutual understanding from the start. Furthermore, it’s always advised to consult with healthcare and legal professionals who specialize in surrogacy before making any decisions.

surrogate for a friend

Do you get paid to be a surrogate for a friend?

Commercial surrogacy is legal in Ukraine. Hence, you can get paid to be a surrogate for a friend. Besides, it largely depends on your agreement with your friend while keeping all the aspects of surrogacy in consideration.

Can I be a surrogate for my family member?

Whether or not you can be a surrogate for your family member depends on the surrogacy laws of your respective country. Let’s say you are a surrogate mother in Ukraine and want to help your family member with their parenthood goals. You can do so while keeping the following elements in mind.

Research: Learn about the process, medical implications, and legal aspects of surrogacy. This will help you in getting ready for things and procedures to come.

Medical Evaluation: You’ll need to meet certain health requirements to become a surrogate. This typically involves being of a certain age (often 21-45), having previously given birth without complications, being in good overall health, and leading a lifestyle that promotes a healthy pregnancy.

Psychological Evaluation: Being a surrogate mother in Ukraine you must also undergo a proper psychological assessment.

Legal Consultation: Engage an experienced surrogacy or reproductive rights attorney. Even though you’re helping a family member, it’s crucial to have all agreements documented in a legally binding contract. Moreover, your family member should also have their own attorney to ensure that everyone’s interests are protected.

Surrogacy Contract: Together with your attorneys, you will create a surrogacy contract that outlines the responsibilities and expectations of all parties, including financial considerations, the procedure to find a surrogate, potential risks, and the legal rights of the intended parents.

find a surrogate

Fertility Treatment: As a gestational surrogate, you would typically undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF). This involves the egg-derived from a donor or the intended mother being fertilized with the intended sperm from the intended father or the donor, and the resulting embryo is implanted in your uterus.

Pregnancy and Delivery: You will carry the pregnancy to term and then deliver the baby. Besides, depending on the details of your surrogacy contract, the intended parents may be present for prenatal appointments and birth.

Post-Birth: After the baby is born, the legal process to establish the intended parents’ rights will take place, if it hasn’t already been completed before birth. On the other hand, ensure that you have emotional and physical support after the birth, as you’ll go through a recovery period and may experience a range of emotions.

Who cannot be a surrogate?

Anyone who doesn’t fulfil the required criterion to become a surrogate mother isn’t eligible to act in that capacity. As mentioned earlier, the surrogate mother should be of a specific age without having any physical or mental health complications.

Besides, she must be ready to undergo all the medical assessments during the surrogacy process. On the other hand, she must not be carrying any harmful addiction to smoking, alcohol or any other substance.

Can my cousin be my surrogate?

As defined by the surrogacy laws in Ukraine anyone can partake in the surrogacy arrangement, given they abide by the pre-defined criterion. As surrogacy in Ukraine is legal, you can certainly hire your cousin as a surrogate mother.


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